October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time to recognize and honor those who have experienced pregnancy loss. Miscarriage is more common than many realize, with 10-15% of known pregnancies ending in loss each year. As the conversation around this can be difficult, an educated support system can make all the difference for a woman navigating this life-changing tragedy. This month is a time to reflect on how we, as a community, can support those experiencing pregnancy loss. This week on Fox 17, Dr.Bitner shares advice on supporting loved ones during this difficult time.
Fact #1
Learning the vocabulary of pregnancy loss can help you be a better source of comfort. While discussing it may be uncomfortable or sad, understanding the correct terms equips you to offer more meaningful support for a friend or loved one.
- A miscarriage is a pregnancy loss before 20 weeks
- Stillbirth is considered after 20 weeks of pregnancy.
- A neonatal loss is in the first 28 days of life.
Unfortunately, more loss occurs to women and families with low income, limited access to healthcare, prenatal care, poor community support, and lower levels of education. By increasing awareness and understanding, we can build better support systems for women and work toward improving healthcare to reduce these tragedies.
Fact #2
Many women and their partners believe the loss is their fault, but this is not the case. It’s not caused by the accidental sip of beer in the first trimester, a missed prenatal vitamin, waking up on their belly, or taking Tylenol. To support these families, providers can work to identify potential causes, such as genetic conditions like Turner’s syndrome, cord accidents, infections, and other factors. This information can help guide future pregnancies, equipping women with knowledge to find closure and resources if they choose to conceive again. Loved ones can be a source of comfort by reassuring the woman that she could not have controlled this outcome.
Fact #3
Support loved ones with compassion. Finding the words to express your condolences can be difficult and even harder when you haven’t experienced it. For many women grieving, it can be frustrating to hear, “The baby is in a better place” or “You can just try again!” as these phrases lack compassion for the grief they are experiencing. If you know a loved one going through a pregnancy loss, sometimes less is better. A simple, “I am sorry for your loss.” or “I don’t know what to say, but please know I feel for you and can’t imagine your grief” can be comforting.
Simple gestures like checking in on them, offering a hug, preparing a meal, or participating in a memorial act like planting a tree can validate their feelings and provide ongoing support. These acts show that you are there for them while respecting their boundaries and allowing them to navigate their grief on their own terms.
Patient Story:
Jane, 35, was grieving the loss from her miscarriage. When visiting her doctor, she expressed concern about what she might have done. Jane was relieved to hear that it was not her fault and at 35, there is a higher chance of miscarriage because of genetic changes in the follicles or eggs.
The loss of Jane’s pregnancy made her realize her desire for another child. Jane and her husband eventually had a baby girl. Afterward, Jane’s husband chose to have a vasectomy to prevent the risk of another miscarriage. Jane was grateful that her doctor shared potential reasons for her miscarriage, providing her with the reassurance she needed to find closure and try again.
Takeaway Tip:
Pregnancy loss is more common than many realize, and the words we use matter. Be mindful of those who may be struggling to conceive, grieving a pregnancy loss, or adjusting to life as a new parent. If someone close to you is grieving, offer your support while respecting their boundaries.