Hi friends! I am doing well and am feeling pretty good. This week I had an appointment with Susanne and Dr. Ashley Wildman!

Vacay

I did my first “vacation/trip” while on my diet and it was a little rough, honestly. My husband and I went to Austin, Texas for the Formula 1 race and it was so fun. I felt conflicted a lot of the time because I wanted to enjoy the yummy food that comes with being on vacation, but I didn’t want to undo all my hard work either. However, I had to remind myself that making better food decisions is part of this process. It’s not ALL junk food or ALL healthy stuff. It’s making better choices when presented with the options. This process is making me look at food so differently, because I’m trying to eat the best thing, not just the tastiest thing.

For example, it was 95 degrees, humid, and we just got done walking 2.5 miles around the track and I was starved. We stopped at one of the food stands and I got two chicken tacos with cilantro and onions. I grabbed a fork and just ate the chicken and the toppings with some lime juice instead of eating the flour tortillas. Then when my husband wanted some fried Oreos, I just took a bite of one of his and he ate the rest.

This diet is about moderation, not deprivation. You are not going to live your whole life never having dessert again – that’s just not realistic or any fun.

But the key is changing the way that you think about food. It’s not all or nothing. It’s feeling the food and enjoying it, but also knowing whether it’s worth it or not.

I’m not going to lie, the Tuesday, after we got back, was a little rough transitioning back to my shakes again. Was it worth it this time? Yes, I think it was because I enjoyed eating good food with my husband and I didn’t go overboard. I still managed to lose weight and I didn’t go through that awful sugar withdrawal like the first week.

My Second Appointment With Susanne

My appointment with Susanne went really well and I am feeling more optimistic than last week. I lost 2 more pounds, so I feel like I am doing better. Susanne made me feel better about my weight not changing the previous week. She let me know that the number on the scale does not paint the full picture, and they care more about my mindset and how I am feeling than whatever my weight is. It’s so refreshing to hear that true. cares more about how I feel than what I weigh. So many numbers are tied to what we consider “success” and I think having health professionals saying “No, the numbers aren’t the full picture. Weight is the thing we care about the LEAST when we look at all of the information.”

Susanne and I also talked about switching from my anti-depressant, Lexapro, to a different anti-depressant. Lexapro has been great for my depression, but after I started taking it in the spring, I gained a bit of weight and have had some other side effects. We decided it would be a good idea for me to try Wellbutrin which also can be an appetite suppressant. I’ve still been struggling a bit with my cravings, so I feel optimistic that this switch should help with that. We also spoke a bit about the Grand Rapids Center for Mindfulness and its mindfulness program for eating.  I signed up for the class which starts next Wednesday! I am super excited to learn some helpful tips and dive deeper into this concept.

Essentially, mindful eating is about tapping into your body and creating a healthier relationship with food. Changing my perspective on food and eating is what will sustain me long-term, so I want to make sure I get the most out of this experience!

Meeting Dr. Ashley Wildman

My appointment with Ashley also went great! It was nice to talk a bit more about some of my struggles as far as support systems, cravings, and get some recommendations. She asked if I felt like I’d developed any sort of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I was honest and said that I caught myself last week wanting a sugary coffee from Starbucks and I started reasoning in my head “Well this drink is 300 calories, so maybe I’ll skip one or two shakes in the morning so I can have it.” I did it, then I felt kind of guilty afterward. I was thinking, “No, you need those shakes because that is your nutrition. It’s not optional. You shouldn’t deprive yourself of nutrients to have a sugary drink and kick up your cravings again.” If you do end up eating a piece of cake or two, don’t skip dinner. You need that sustenance!

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but it’s the reality of dieting! You’re not going to be perfect 24/7. It’s just not realistic. Don’t be too tough on yourself because we are all human. Food is a part of the experience, but it doesn’t mean food has to control us. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself when you mess up because it will happen! I promise you’ll never feel judged or shamed by the folks at true. It is so relieving to know that when I go to each appointment, they are there to support me and not make me feel bad about messing up. Just know that your weight journey is so much more than a number on a scale and any shame you could ever feel. – Sam